A need to survive
by Mockingdandelion
Summary: Gale can't stand the thought of Katniss going to the Capitol alone, and recklessly volunteers.  AU


_**A need to survive**_

_Gale can't stand the thought of Katniss going to the Capitol alone, and recklessly volunteers. What will the concequences of his actions be? Will there even be a rebellion? AU_

_**I don't have a beta so I'm sorry for any grammar/spelling errors!**_

''Peeta Mellark.'' Effie Trinket reads out in an excited voice.

My mind is spinning. I barely notice Prim hugging me tightly. All I know is that Katniss is going to the Capitol.

Upon hearing the name of the male tribute Katniss appears to be terrified for a second. She quickly hides it, but I noticed. I qlance at the strong, muscular boy who is making his way to the stage. I almost vomit as various scenarios start playing in my head: Peeta Mellark choking Katniss, drowning Katniss, cutting Katniss up with a knife.

''I volunteer!'' I hear someone scream. I vaguely notice everyone staring at me in surprise. I also feel that Prim hesitantly stops hugging me.

Suddenly realisation dawns over me: I'd volunteered. My voice and mouth had spoken on it's own record. I hadn't wanted to volunteer. Well, I'd wanted to, but I shouldn't have. With both, me and Katniss gone, who would look after Katniss' and my family?

It was as if my entire body had suddenly gotten a mind of it's own, for my legs started moving. If it was possible to put your body on automatic pilot, this is what it would feel like. I stiffly walk towards the stage, and climb on it.

As soon as I'm standing on the stage Effie says excitedly:''Well, look at this! How exciting, two volunteers for district 12 in one year! And who are you?''

I'm now happy that my body is on automatic pilot, for my voice sounds steady and confident when I say:''Gale Hawthorne.''

Effie smiles at the cameras and announces that it's time for the Treaty of Treason to be read. The Mayor stands up and reads the Treaty. I don't pay attention, though. I'm painfully aware of Katniss eyes boring holes in me. I don't dare look in her eyes, I'm too afraid of what I might find in them. Was she angry at me? Was she feeling betrayed? Would she allow me to sacrifice myself for her?

I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if Katniss was angry at me. I stare at a point in the distance while the Mayor reads out the Treaty of Treason. Mentally forcing myself to calm down. To breathe in. And out again. In. Out.

By the time the Mayor has finished his speech I am calm, or as calm as I could possibly be after realising that I'm expected to kill the person I love. The Mayor motions for me and Katniss to shake hands. I slowly turn so I face Katniss and shake her hand. A shiver runs through my body at the touch. I hesitantly look up and our eyes meet. I almost jump in joy when I don't find anger in her eyes. There's anger, but the expression etched over her face is clearly confusion. I give her hand a reassuring squeeze.

We then turn to face the crowd while the anthem of Panem plays, still holding hands. As soon as the anthem is finished we're taken into custody. While we're walking to the Justice building I want to talk to Katniss more than anything. Tell her why I did what I did - even though I haven't really figured that one out myself. But I can't, for the Peacekeepers are keeping a close eye on us. I don't want them to hear my explanation. It's private and none of their business.

Once I'm inside, I'm conducted to a room and am left alone. I have to admit it's what most would consider a beautiful room. It has thick, deep carpets and a couch and chairs made of rich fabric.

I scowl at my surroundings. It was completely unnecessary, this room was used once a year. Yet it was probably more beautiful than any other room in district 12. By selling the carpets, several famillies would be able to be fed for weeks.

My family are my first - and most likely my only - visitors. My mother, Hazelle, pulls me in a hug as soon as she's entered the room. My other siblings quickly follow suit and soon we're having a group-hug. We stand there, some of us sobbing, for a couple of minutes.

Then I realise something and say:''Rory, you need to learn how to hunt. There's a book on how to make snares in my bedside cabinet. You'll need to practise for a while but I'm positive you'll manage.''

Hesitantly my family let's me go and Rory looks at me with red, puffy eyes. Tears are streaming down his cheeks, but he nodds. ''But - but you're coming home right Gale?''

My entire family is looking at me expectantly now. I feel my heart ache, I can't tell them that I'm not coming home, that Katniss is coming home instead. I can't make them lose hope, I need them to stay strong. So I tell them the truth:''Don't worry, I'm not going down without a fight.'' Because I won't, I'll fight to keep Katniss alive.

Far too soon Peacekeepers enter the room to tell my family that their time is up. My mother screams and hugs me tighter. I have to fight hard not to cry as the peacekeepers literally drag my family out of the room.

I expect to be left alone. And I am left alone, but only for a moment. To my surprise Peeta Mellark enters the room. He's looking at me sheepishly and says:''Thank you."

I can't look at him without having mental images of him murdering Katniss. For that's what he would undoubtedly have done if I wouldn't have volunteered. ''I didn't do it for you.'' I snap at him.

He looks hurt for a moment but quickly recovers. ''I know.'' he says quietly. I study the boy in front of me carefully now. ''What are you doing here'' I aks carefully.

He sighs and hesitates for a moment, then he says:''I just want to let you know that I'll look after your family. And after Katniss' family too.''

I eye him with suspicion. But then looks me in the eye and I grudginly have to admit he appears to be honest. The only response I can come up with is a simple one:''Why?''

He hesitates and I can almost see his internal struggle. After a couple moments of silence he takes a deep breath and speaks up:''I- I love her.''

I stare at him in confusion. He loves her. Who is her? A girl who lives in town? his mother? Prim? Katniss mother? He looks at me carefully, as if expecting me to explode.

He senses my confusion and says, barely audible:''Katniss. I love Katniss, Gale.''

My mind doesn't register this. It's still working on progressing the fact that I'm going to the Capitol with Katniss and that, because of my recklessness, my family might starve. I don't say anything. I simply look at him blankly. My face clear of emotions. I nodd and say the only thing the mess that is my brain can come up with:''Ok.''

Peeta looks at me, confusion written all over his face. We sit in silence. Upon realising that I'm not going to say anything intelligent, Peeta nodds at me and leaves the room. I don't say goodbye. My brain manages to tell me that this is the last time I'll see Peeta Mellark. The least I could do is thank him for looking after my family. But my brain is too fogged up at the moment to motivate me to thank him.

Peeta quietly closes the door behind him. It was unnecessary because the second he's closed it, it opens again and the peacekeepers enter. They lead me to a car. I had hoped that Katniss would be in the car with me, but we we're brought to the train station seperately. This makes sense of course, some tributes might hurt each other before even reaching the Capitol.

I haven't cried, and I'm grateful for that. The train station is swarming with reporters, all trying to take a picture of district 12's new male tribute. They disgust me, but I'm carefull not to let it show. For Katniss' sake, I can't die without knowing that she's going to get out of this mess alive.

I see myself on a huge television screen on the wall that's airing my arrival. I'm glad to see that I appear confident, and everything but scared. I know that I'd never be able to play the seemingly helpless and weak tribute card. Since I'm forced play the intimidating tribute card, I might as well try to look as intimidating and confident as possible.

A couple of minutes after I've arrived, Katniss finally arrives. I catch a glimpse of her on the television screen and am relieved to see that she hasn't cried either. It would be hard for her to appear weak, so she's better of trying to come over as a strong tribute.

Katniss walks over to me and stands next to me in the doorway of the train. I don't hesitate and grab her hand, she gives me a small smile. I'm vaguely aware of the camera's flashing behind up. Both, me and Katniss are lost in our thoughts.

All I want to do is tell Katniss that everything is going to be allright and that she has nothing to worry about. But I can't, with the reporters standing behind us and watching us like hawks. They'd twist our words, no matter what we say. Two tributes holding hands was one thing, an already a bit risky thing. But two tributes holding hands and comforting each other was simply outrageous.

Our words would become hot Capitol gossip, I'm sure. That might be a good thing, and if it was, it would get us sponsors. It might also be a bad thing and that would mean we wouldn't get any sponsors. I didn't understand the Capitol people at all, and I had no idea if they would consider two tributes caring about each other a good or a bad thing. I couldn't take risks so I decided to play it safe.

I'd have to ask our mentor later.

I groan. Our mentor, I hadn't even thought about that. The thought that our mentor was a drunk had completely slipped my mind. I needed to do something about it though. I needed Katniss to get sponsors, and without a sober mentor that would be almost impossible.

Even with a sober mentor it would be hard, just because of Haymitch's and district 12's reputation. I needed Katniss to be sponsored though. And I'd do anything to make sure people started seeing district 12 as an actual competetor in the games. Even if it meant having to play nice for the cameras.

I wasn't looking forward to my interview. I'd need to smile and play nice for the cameras. If Katniss wouldn't have been here, I would have refused to do that. I would have done anything to piss off and defy the Capitol.

But Katniss was here. So I couldn't. I needed the Capitol to start liking district 12, because Katniss would need the sponsors. Also I couldn't do anything that might give the Capitol the impression that I actually hate all of them, because I needed the gamemakers to like district 12.

I couldn't have the gamemakers shooting fireballs at Katniss.

We get a signal that we're allowed to enter the train. As soon as we've entered the doors close mercifully behind us.

The train starts moving at once and I hear Katniss gasp. The speed does, in fact, take my breath away,but the fact that the Capitol created it is reason enough for me to hate the machine.

Katniss turns so she faces. This time, her expression is hard and in that moment I hate myself.

''Why?'' she asks. My brain is going through all the possible answers, every excuse that I could possibly give. But there's nothing, absolutely nothing that would justify my actions. That would explain why I'd volunteered and left our families behind. I suddenly feel awfully guilty.

''I don't know.'' I answer honestly.

Katniss sighs and looks me in the eye:''Gale I want to be mad at you - No, I am mad at you. But still, you're the only thing that's familiar to me here..'' she says, sounding conflicted.

I nodd, I'd expected her to be angry ''I'm sorry Catnip.''

Katniss opens her mouth to say something, but closes it again. Instead of saying something, she nodds stiffly, turns around and walks away.

I stare as she walks away, enhanced by the way she moves. I can't help but wonder what she's thinking. Thank God that she hadn't decided to give me the silent treatment. I don't think I'd be able to live with myself if she'd done that. She obviously hadn't completely forgiven him though. He desperately hoped the awkwardness between them would be gone before they'd enter the Arena. They simply couldn't afford it.

My train of thoughts is interrupted by a surprised Effie Trinket ''What are you still doing here?'' she chirps. I shrug and she tells me I should go to my compartment. She informs me that I'm free to do, wear and eat anything I want. She then leads me to my compartment and leaves after telling me that she'll come and collect me when supper is ready.

It's as if every room I enter is even more beautiful and luxe than the previous one. My chambers include a bedroom, a dressing area, and a private bathroom. The private bathroom has both, and hot and cold water. I doubt that even the richer people who lived in Town had hot water.

I decide to take a shower, knowing that I'll only be able to have a couple more showers in my life. I take of my clothes and throw them on the floor, not bothering to fold them.

I've never showered before and I have to admit, the feeling was very pleasant. It was like standing in a warm summer rain. There are drawers filled with fancy clothes. However, I don't bother looking through them and simply pick the first shirt and trousers I can find, being a simply black shirt and green trousers.

As if on cue, Effie enters as soon as I'm finished getting dressed. She tells me that supper is ready. I follow her through the narrow, rocking corridor into a dining room with polished paneled walls. There's a table where all the dishes are highly breakable. Katniss sits waiting for us, the chair next to her empty.

I don't hesitate and sit down on the chair next to Katniss. She doesn't even look at me. I try to hide my dissapointment.

Effie sits down as well and asks brightly:''Where's Haymitch?''

''He told me was going to take a nap.'' answers Katniss.

"Well, it's been an exhausting day," says Effie Trinket. She sounds relieved that the drunk isn't present. I don't blame her, I would've been relieved to. If it wasn't for the fact that the man was the only chance at my - no Katniss' - survival.

The supper comes in courses. A thick carrot soup, green salad, lamb chops and mashed potatoes, cheese and fruit, a chocolate cake. Throughout the meal, Effie Trinket keeps reminding us to save space because there's more to come. I blatantly ignore this and eat everything within my reach. From the corner of my eye I can see that Katniss is doing the same.

"At least, you two have decent manners," says Effie as we're finishing the main course. "The pair last year ate everything with their hands like a couple of savages. It completely upset my digestion."

I almost vomit and automatically look at Katniss. My stomach does a back-flip when I find that she's also looking at me. We share a look. And with that single look it's been settled: we both make it a point to eat the rest of our meals with our fingers.

I can't help but smile, the connection I share with Katniss is rare. I should have realized it would take a lot to break it. And that I shouldn't have worried about it being broken permantly. It wasn't fixed yet, but it was definetely a work in progress.

When I'm finished I wipe my hands on the tablecloth, Katniss follows suit and does the same. This makes Effie purse her lips tightly together. Now that the meal's over, I'm fighting to keep the food down. I can see Katniss is looking a little green, too. Neither of our stomachs is used to such rich fare. It won't let this food go to waste, though. I'm determined to hang on to this.


End file.
